Supporting Little Ones Starting School: What Parents Can Do and What to Look For

The first day of school is a milestone for every family. Whether your child is starting kindergarten or entering a new classroom, it’s a season filled with excitement, pride, and—let’s be honest—a fair amount of anxiety and uncertainty. As a parent, you might be juggling joy at watching your child grow with worries about how they’ll adjust, make friends, or handle being away from you. These mixed emotions are normal, and you’re not alone in feeling them.

At Bien-être Counselling, we know that starting school is a big leap not just for children, but for parents too. Supporting your little one through this transition can set the stage for a positive school experience and help you both feel more confident as you step into this new chapter.

What Parents Can Do to Prepare Their Child

1. Establish Routines Early

Children thrive on predictability, especially during times of change.

• Bedtime: Begin a consistent bedtime routine a week or two before school starts. This helps your child get enough sleep and makes mornings less rushed.
• Morning Prep: Practice getting up, dressed, and ready at the same time each day. Lay out clothes and pack backpacks together the night before.

2. Build Independence Skills

School is a big step toward independence. Encourage your child to:

• Dress themselves: Practice zipping jackets, buttoning shirts, and putting on shoes.
• Use the bathroom solo: Make sure they can manage on their own, including washing hands.
• Carry their own backpack: Let them practice packing and carrying their bag, so it feels familiar.

3. Talk Positively About School

Your attitude shapes your child’s expectations.

• Share the fun: Talk about making new friends, meeting teachers, and all the exciting things they’ll learn.
• Read books about starting school: Stories can help normalize the experience and spark helpful conversations.
• Answer questions honestly: Let your child express their feelings and answer their questions with reassurance.

4. Visit the School Ahead of Time

If possible, take a tour of the school together.

• Show them where they’ll enter, hang their coat, and eat lunch.
• Point out the playground or classroom: Familiarity eases first-day jitters.
• If a visit isn’t possible: Look at photos of the school online or walk by the building.

5. Role-Play Common Scenarios

Practicing what to expect can boost confidence.

• Saying goodbye: Practice a quick, confident goodbye routine.
• Asking for help: Role-play how to ask a teacher for help or find the bathroom.
• Making friends: Rehearse introducing themselves or joining in play.

What Parents Can Do for Themselves

1. Acknowledge Your Own Feelings

It’s normal to feel anxious or emotional about letting go.

• Recognize separation anxiety: Just as your child may feel nervous, you might too. That’s okay.
• Practice letting go gradually: If possible, arrange short separations before school starts to build confidence for both of you.

2. Seek Support from Your Community

You’re not alone in this transition.

• Connect with other parents: Sharing experiences can provide comfort and practical tips.
• Lean on your support network: Friends, family, or even online parenting groups can offer reassurance and encouragement.

3. Take Care of Yourself

Transitions are easier when you’re rested and supported too.

• Prioritize self-care: Even a few quiet moments for yourself can help manage stress.
• Remind yourself: Your child’s growing independence is a sign of healthy development, not a loss of your role as a parent.

What to Look For in Your Child’s Transition

Every child adjusts differently, but there are common signs to watch for:

Signs of Healthy Adjustment

• Shows curiosity about school, teachers, or classmates
• Talks about new experiences, even if a bit nervous
• Makes friends or participates in activities
• Manages minor nerves or tears with encouragement

Normal Challenges

• Tiredness after school or on weekends
• Occasional clinginess at drop-off
• Some tears or reluctance, especially in the first days
• Temporary changes in appetite or sleep

Red Flags That May Need Extra Support

• Persistent refusal to go to school after the first couple of weeks
• Ongoing, intense distress at separation (crying, tantrums, panic)
• Withdrawal from activities or friends
• Significant changes in sleep, appetite, or mood
• Frequent complaints of physical symptoms (stomachaches, headaches) with no medical cause

If you notice these red flags, gentle support and sometimes professional guidance can make a big difference.

Practical Tips & Takeaways: Your Back-to-School Checklist

Here’s a quick checklist to support your family during the first weeks of school:

• Start bedtime and morning routines before school begins
• Practice independence skills (dressing, bathroom, backpack)
• Talk positively about school and answer questions
• Visit or talk about the school environment
• Role-play common school scenarios
• Create a special goodbye ritual
• Connect with other parents for support
• Watch for signs of healthy adjustment and normal challenges
• Celebrate small wins—every step counts!

Conclusion

Starting school is a big milestone for little ones and parents alike. Adjustment takes time, and it’s normal to experience ups and downs along the way. By preparing your child, caring for yourself, and watching for signs of healthy adjustment, you’re setting your family up for a smoother transition.

Remember: patience, consistency, and compassion (for your child and yourself) are key. Celebrate every small win, and know that it’s okay to ask for help if you need it.

If you or your child are struggling with the transition to school, Bien-être Counselling is here to support you. Book a free 20-minute consultation to talk with a caring therapist about how we can help you and your family thrive during this new chapter.

Book your consultation today: Contact Bien-être Counselling or call (613) 670-6602

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